The Gift of New Beginnings

For the past year and a half of been on a journey.

One of loss, healing, and rediscovering who I am as an artist.

Many of you know me as a Surface Designer - an artist/ illustrator who creates designs for manufacturers.
For the past 19 years, that was my job title - and quite frankly my identity.

And until the tragedies of the past year overwhelmed me, I thought I was happy in the role.
Don’t get me wrong - there is joy to be had in licensing your art to manufacturers, seeing your products on shelves, having it shared online by others…but I was struggling and struggling HARD.

Stepping Away to See New Perspectives

In October 2024, I decided to step away from licensing, severing my agreement with my agent.

Some mental block was majorly hindering my work - neither she nor I could figure out what it was, but the result was not profitable for either one of us and I felt the time had come to retire from my career in the art licensing industry.
Looking back now, I think the obstacle I couldn’t overcome was unvented grief.

From April 30th 2023 to January of this year, 2024, my husband and I lost all of our parents.
I helped to care for each one of them until they passed on - not having time to process one loss before I stepped in to help with the next emergency need. Needless to say, it was an overwhelming situation like no other.

Since then, I’ve been journaling my thoughts, spending much time in God’s word, praying and talking things out with loved ones, and it has helped me to see a few things from a different perspective.

The first perspective was - the tragedies of my past (from childhood on - that’s a deep topic for another time) are not my fault.
I carried blame and guilt for other peoples’ actions that were outside of my control. I do not and should not accept responsibility for the choices others make, no matter how it affects me.

The second realization was that because of the choices of others and the circumstances outside of my control (like our parents’ deaths), I have become someone who DOES try to control the outcome of every situation. I think that by trying to control the details and ultimately the outcome of everything around me (relationships, career, homelife, etc.), I was in some way trying to build a buffer of protection. I wanted so desperately for things to be “right” that I made myself responsible for every detail and ultimately, felt that I let myself and other down when the situation didn’t meet MY expectations. This is a recipe for disaster which brought me crashing down into depression.

Third - your situation, circumstances, career, past choices may SHAPE your path, but they do not define you. Your identity is not secured in these things.
As a Christian, my identity is in who God says I am - loved, cherished, forgiven, redeemed.
He holds ALL thing in HIS hands - things are in His control, not mine.
All I have to do is trust in His promises and let go of the need to direct the details.

2025 The Year of Returning to Creative JOY

As the new year quickly approaches, my plan is to just trust the process - of His working all things out as I navigate new waters in my art career.
As I give myself the gift of new beginnings.
As I allow myself opportunities to explore mediums and play with techniques.

I’m returning to creating with fresh eyes, and new thoughts.
To my love of color and textures.
To creating in a way that speaks JOY to my heart and for others.

For fresh perspectives, and reminders of truth, I am thankful.

May 2025 be a year of blessings and joy for you, my friends ♥